Кирилл "msado" Готовцев (msado) wrote,
Кирилл "msado" Готовцев

How to be cool, really cool in BDSM

All the recent talks are converging on this theme or these near to it… The sharp rise of aversion to LS is discussed albeit the problem lays not at all here … Talks are going on destitution of real Doms or subs – but they can be met freely… The truth is that they are rather prone to meet one another but that’s really an oddity, isn’t it? Talkers about the squalor of the preaching ones aren’t remembering the SUBJECT of the preachments anymore. To say it short a crisis of the form is arrived. How to become a cool one? The exact meaning of the word ‘cool’ as it used here needs to be formulated from the very beginning. The cool one isn’t the one who is professional, or desirable, or tall and mighty. NO. The cool one is the person with whom it’s nice to mix. You can be and stay forth a total ignoramus concerning safety, you can rant out any jazz about some Codex statutes new-coined by yourself, you can profess back-alley morals and strings – shortly, you can be either a vanilla or a jerk. BUT. You can be a cool jerk at that. It would dawn on you that people are able to find excuses for your faults when they feel themselves comfortable with you. That they are ready to help to rectify your errors, willing to tolerate your blunders and watch your back. The recommendations are divided into two groups – for Tops that are called Doms here but the advice is good for sadists as well, and for bottoms called subs here albeit maso and slaves are too coming in the category. The truth is that both parts are useful for Tops and bottoms alike. Each of the parts addresses one group directly and the other… well… really also directly but it isn’t very noticeable from the first glance …

Some Advice to Doms.

Don’t jump about - a Dom isn’t a clown. You’re perfectly seen by all, they’re aware of and wonder-stricken by you. Providing you’re really cool…

Don’t lose a sense of reality. When it appears to you that all are ready to kneel before you - doubt it and think again. But don’t be disappointed with the result – all that isn’t so grand as they say it in books …

Don’t lose a sense of humor – be ironical to yourself. Among people I know, one trying to position himself as Dom was patted on the head, the other’s butt was jokingly touched with a whip . Both made a real fuss stating that it was a put-down. Both aren’t taken seriously anymore. A Dom simply can’t take some trifle as a degrade – he isn’t a monument to himself.

Don’t value yourself on your money. A hand full of gold can’t hold a whip firmly.

Don’t think that being a Dom makes you better. Not in the least!

Don’t call yourself a Dom from fear of calling yourself a sub. A good sub commands much more respect than a scabby complexes-ridden Dom. It’s well known who’s who in reality.

Think before speaking and be true to your word. The main thing is not to fret over some blunder you said or made for begones are begones.

Speak what you think. Having no thoughts – keep silence. Itching to speak – make a joke. But don’t be the first who laughs at it.

Master the art of drinking. Inebriated Doms do exist but smashed Doms don’t. Notwithstanding how inebriated is a Dom he answers for his words and doings all the same, not dosses out and arrives home in a fairly clean state.

If you can do something good for a person, do it. Calculating out your gain mind that it’s what whores do. Better not to assimilate their ways.

A sub and a sub of yours are two essentially different things. A sub of other fellow is a third different thing and is almost not a sub.

Deciding to command make sure that here is anybody who shall gladly obey. But don’t indulge in vain hopes…

Any human being is interesting. It’s simply not everyone can see it. You’re a gifted one, aren’t you?

Some Advice for subs.

Don’t be afraid. Nobody will bite you. You can be spanked though but you hadn’t come here for nothing, had you?

Correspond to your status. If there’s nobody to show off do it simply for practice. May it be that you hadn’t noticed somebody?

Show off your status. Doms really are like babies needing to feel just a tiny bit of power - so pamper them. But be careful not to pamper a bit too thick.

Don’t use the status. Don’t use the Codex. Don’t use the rules. I mean - for your own good. Nobody except you is obliged to fulfil the rules you’d decided right for yourself.

Take the consequences of your actions notwithstanding that it don’t always brings pleasure. Some ways do bring more than pleasure though along with some pain, eh?

If your Master isn’t accessible for others it’s not a cause to cut yourself loose. Personally, I would kick away a slave profiting from my unavailability to receive complaints against her. Not to let her profane me.

Enjoy the life. A depressed sub is worse than a sozzled Dom.

Be grateful – in general and for all that is. Simply for a practice. You’d love it.

Don’t call yourself a sub trying to cast off your responsibility for decision-making – really the responsibility is falling on the subs over and above.

Don’t be lazy. A lazy sub is worse than a depressed one.

Take the initiative - for lack of it is a real laziness.

Don’t consider the Dom liable to you. Liable to have devices, premises, to feed you, to do you good… He isn’t liable to anything even if it offends you a bit.

And now the last but not least – rather the main – advice to both groups.

Don’t you ever try to make an icon out of yourself. An icon may be revered but never loved. Don’t try to be holier than the Pope for saints aren’t loved either. Don’t pursue the love of masses for people resent love that is wished on them.

Just be cool.

This is especially when it’s the only thing left to you.

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